“Give yourself the space to feel the feelings you have about what has happened to you, don’t hold onto them. Recognize the feelings for what they are, and then choose to release them. Holding onto them doesn’t punish anyone but yourself. You have the power to choose your mindset. Let yourself choose you. You are worthy and deserving of happiness and love.”
My Father was only that in a biological sense. He had no business being a parent and I had to overcome a very rough childhood of emotional abuse to get to where I am today. My father was very abusive, and would leave my mom, sister and I alone without food or money for days at a time.
When I was 5 or 6 years old, my father had shared custody of my sister and me. During one visit with him, he took me for an outing where he put me on a Ferris wheel, and paid the operator to keep me on it while he went to the pub. After a while, I got scared and wanted to call my mom, so I told the operator I needed to go to the bathroom. He let me off, and I went to a nearby restaurant. I asked the waitress to use the phone to call my mom. She denied me. I realized that I had a $2 bill in my pocket, so I asked for change – she again denied me. So, I went to a toy shop next door and purchased a bouncy ball and got the change I needed for the payphone. I managed to call my mom and she came and picked me up.
My mom managed to escape that situation and move us away. My mom’s next partner was not violent, but he was also hard on us. It made me mad that my mom didn’t want better for herself. I felt like I was the only one standing up for us and fighting back. I have always had a fire in my heart, not willing to back down when it came to women and children being mistreated. I knew I had the potential for more. I chose to get myself out of the situation I was in by doing well in school. I was going to build a life I wanted, rather than falling into the negativity I was raised in. I also knew that I was going to help people somehow. I became really good at problem solving and learned to rely on myself.
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