“I always knew I was meant for more, but I didn’t find my path until I got sober.”
I used to seek numbness. I used to lavishly marinate in my victimhood as a child of divorce, a daughter who’s father commited suicide, as the girl with no clear path. My strategy was disconnection. Now I seek deep connection, clarity and growth with myself, my environment, and my work.
I was an extremely high functioning alcoholic – as I would argue many women are – but I became focused on being healthy during the pregnant-breastfeeding and then pregnant-again-breastfeeding-again years… I had been sober-curious for a while and my children’s first gift to me was four years of socially obligated sobriety…
I wasn’t even the mom-to-be who had the odd glass of red, my body was not interested in a sip. This granted me perspective. (Although I was still so looking forward to the day that I could drink with the boys again, at least a bottle of wine with my husband.)
I found it was never the same though, after becoming a mom, because I was so sleep deprived and I certainly could not parent hungover. So I decided I was going to ‘mindfully drink’ for a year and see how it went. Part of this logic surrounded the fact that I was getting married that year and I needed to be able to drink champagne at my wedding – obviously.
Well, one year ended up being about six months. I had been boozing with a good friend all day as we watched our kids play in her backyard pool. Then, I drove us home, drunk. One of the many things I swore I would never do as a parent… like my parents had done. I knew I was crossing a line.
In the last three years I have started running, completed five half marathons and one full marathon, become certified as a health coach, a plant-based chef, and evolved into a detox expert. I also self published my first book, started a wellness magazine (which failed but I learned a lot) and last year, I began building my online coaching business to support more women globally who, like me, know they are meant for more. Women who, like me, were self-medicating mild depression with Mommy Wine Culture. Women who, like me, knew they crave expansion, greater purpose, and greater clarity.
For me, it comes down to connecting to your deepest why in this life. My why for quitting was my kids at first; but now it includes my own expansion into my Higher Self. I always knew I was meant for more, but I didn’t find my path until I got sober.
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