“Abuse of any kind is not acceptable – emotional or physical. Do what you need to do to remove yourself from that relationship and take the time you need to heal.”
Sometimes you don’t know how bad a situation is until you come out the other side of it. When I was in my early 20s, twelve years younger than him, I moved in with my new boyfriend after only knowing him for a few months. In hindsight, I didn’t know him well enough to move in.
Shortly after moving in with him, I learned that he was an alcoholic. This was a secret that I didn’t share with anyone; not even when I started to notice empty and full bottles of vodka stashed around the house. Eventually, he became verbally abusive.
One night he was supposed to pick me up after work but after waiting and waiting with no pickup, a security guard finally drove me home. I arrived to find my boyfriend passed out on the couch. I decided to sleep in the spare room and was woken up in the middle of the night to him standing over me, yelling at me, swearing and calling me terrible names.
This happened a few times and each time the promise of sobriety was given in exchange for me staying with him. However, sobriety never lasted. One night, he put his hands on me. That was the night that I finally had the courage to leave.
At the time I was starting a business and working part-time. So, I hustled hard. I called my potential clients and convinced them to not only hire me but pay upfront. That way, I was able to find an apartment of my own. The thing was, I didn’t take possession for 3 weeks. So, I couch surfed. A friend was house sitting but not staying there and every night he would let me into the house, I’d sleep on the couch and then let myself out the next morning. I’ll never forget the rough and scratchy orange couch that served as my safe place for those few weeks of my new life.
The day I received the keys to my new place I felt like a new person. I knew that I had just survived something traumatic. I did what I had to do to survive. I did what I had to do to make my business a success and start a new chapter so that I could thrive. My advice to anyone going through something traumatic is to wake up every day and do the best you can.
Are you ready to share your story of RESILIENCE? You can do that HERE.