Spiritual Resilience “You wander from room to room hunting for the diamond necklace that is already around your neck.” -Rumi.
I spent a lot of my time searching for myself in others only to discover I was the one I had been waiting for that I was the answer to my problems and the medicine to my pain. Resilience was not a conscious choice; it was a way of being for me from a young age. I grew up in an environment where I endured abuse – both sexual and physical. An environment in which I felt unloved, unlovable, and unwanted. This manifested as emotional abandonment wounds. Wounds that tested my mental and emotional stability.
The kind of resilience I had to draw upon was based on finding Karen to reclaim my true sense of self that was wounded by inner negative wounds, sabotaging programs, and negative self-image.
Unbecoming to become…
At the tender age of 14, I had become so ferocious in hating Karen that I attempted suicide. The need to not be her devoured me from the inside. I turned to drugs and became homeless, sometimes sleeping on a friend’s sofa to dropping out of school at 15. I also turned my back on the Divine as I felt the Divine abandoned me, too.
When you self-hate, you are hating the Divine spark within you. When you turn your back on yourself, you close the door on the Divine. This was the spiritual pain I faced, finding the Divine and recognizing that the Divine was always in my life, especially in the darkest moments. Today, I can affirm connection to the Divine is a deep loving connection and acceptance of who you are. So, I had to find Karen to find the Divine.
I have experienced the transcendental moments of my life. My first experience of transcendence was loving and calm, then self-hate consumed me, and I would feel detached from feeling connected to anything. Yet, the divine was always communicating, even in the chaos. In the chaos, I was looking out at the world from my woundedness – a distorted lens – so I could not receive the messages from the Divine. The dance between unseeing to seeing, from unconscious living to conscious living. A tortured soul who, when in the dark night of the soul, found a way when there was no way to alchemize the darkness into redemption and love.
I began a quest to seek external validation from others and needed material objects just to feel like somebody in society. The irony was by looking outward, I was taking myself further away from home – the embodied self. I was separating from the wisdom within, and chaos became the perfect storm to hide from myself.
I believe in this separation; the Divine was seeking me. This style of communication was to send in lessons through events and people. Messengers gave me what I needed to unbecome the wounded self so I could return home to the self within.
The inner shift came when I let go of the need to be seen and accepted by others. Today, the springboard from which my heart soars is held in a narrative, “you are here for something great. A quest. A soul’s mission. This mission is for you to wake up to the truth of who you are. To awaken to who you are truly designed to be upon discovering a profound love within. Being here is your birthright, your inheritance from God”.
How do we get to a place of total inner liberation where there is great freedom to be who you are meant to be?
Here are my best tips for reclaiming inner liberation.
- Your only job is to self-permit, to give yourself permission to express yourself in whatever way you want. To self-permit in saying yes to life because it’s not about what others think. Your story inside of you about what you think others are thinking is a prison cell!
- Develop Self-love. This is the component of unshackling your inner limited narratives.
- Grow a confident self-image. Remember, nobody can hear the story you tell yourself about yourself, so tell yourself an epic one!
- Gratitude: cultivating a mindset of gratitude helps you move from limitation to expansion. Each day, journal what you are grateful for.
Remember, you have one life, one chance here to live fearlessly. The path you choose will come down to your relationship with yourself. Come home, come home to you, and greet yourself with love and compassion and let the Divine in.
Are you ready to share your story of RESILIENCE? You can do that HERE.