My story started much like most of our stories, with a minor difference. When I was born, I was born missing my left arm below the elbow. My parents treated and raised me the same way they raised my older brother. In my early years, I faced adversity, people staring, learning to adapt to my environment, or at least, learning to know my surroundings. Honestly, most things we kids experience at a young age. However, my life changed when I was 14 years old. Most 14 year old boys are between 5’3” and 5’9”. I was an astonishing 6’8”, 170 pounds. I have one arm, I am extremely tall, and I felt like I didn’t belong, yet I was still being treated the same.
My story started much like most of our stories, with a minor difference. When I was born, I was born missing my left arm below the elbow. My parents treated and raised me the same way they raised my older brother. In my early years, I faced adversity, people staring, learning to adapt to my environment, or at least, learning to know my surroundings. Honestly, most things we kids experience at a young age. However, my life changed when I was 14 years old. Most 14 year old boys are between 5’3” and 5’9”. I was an astonishing 6’8”, 170 pounds. I have one arm, I am extremely tall, and I felt like I didn’t belong, yet I was still being treated the same.
My height and size helped me become a very successful athlete, especially when people encouraged me and told me to play. I followed suit and did what I thought would give me a sense of belonging. I played five years of able bodied university basketball and 12 years on our national disabled volleyball team, where I won 3 world championships. I was the top defensive basketball player in Canada in my last year. Throughout my young sports career, I never felt fulfilled, like I didn’t have a purpose, even with all my success. I remember my last year of basketball, trying to quit the team because I hated the sport. I have to give thanks to my coach for encouraging me to stick through it till the end. When I finished, I still had one year of school remaining. That year was an absolute shit show. I found myself partying immensely, struggling to go to school, more focussed on everything else. I was struggling with my identity, and I didn’t know who I was. I only knew myself as an athlete and that was no longer the case in my life. I nearly failed my last year of school. I stuck it out and managed to finish my degree. Afterward, I bounced between jobs, fired from a couple, trying to figure out what would work for me. Trying to fit into the world, I felt I didn’t fit in.
I had enough. I was lost, confused, and stressed. I didn’t know who the hell I was. All this work, school, sports, everything. All these things I was told to do to fit in weren’t working. I hit the bottom, and I needed help. I stepped into a six month personal empowerment training. A six-month training designed to allow me to explore my past, reveal my trauma, and see my truth and my true identity. I started to learn and understand who I was. I wasn’t the same as everyone else. I was, in fact, very different. I was learning the importance of loving my differences and giving me a sense of fulfilment. Loving myself for who I was, my challenges, and my incredible differences allowed me to finally have acceptance. I was 25 years old when I finally identified as a disabled person. That constant fight to prove my worthiness to people, the fight to try and fit in, was heavy and exhausting. Loving myself for who I am lifted all that weight. That was the start of experiencing my own loving life!
I chose to step into sport again. This time, in a sport we all did in elementary school, the shot put. During the 12 years playing volleyball, we never qualified for the Paralympic Games. The shot put did. I did it for me, not because people thought I would do well. I was doing it because I wanted to, which made me feel good. I felt content, proud, happy, excited, and fulfilled. I finally felt a purpose in life, a sense of personal fulfilment.
I have competed for Canada at two Paralympic Games, the Covid 2020 Tokyo Paralympics and the 2024 Paris Paralympics. With dedication, hard work, and resilience, I am now a two time Paralympic Gold medalist– the best in the world, at two consecutive games. I never thought I would be a Paralympian, let alone a Paralympic Champion! I am grateful for all the experiences I’ve had in my life. However, when you learn to love yourself, you learn to love your environment, and amazing things happen!
This is resiliency. When you are willing to have a deeper, more thorough understanding of who you are. When you constantly put yourself in a situation of growth and discomfort. You are resilient when you repeatedly grow through that discomfort and are rewarded on the other end. My willingness to not settle and to focus on finding my true self through all my challenges and experiences has given me the best life possible!
This is where I saw the true extent of how resilient one can be despite how bad it gets, and I learned, grew, and understood the importance of never losing yourself for anyone. My strength came from realizing that everything that I have experienced, I overcame, and I did mental health work.
The first step to finding love is learning to love yourself.
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