What is Resiliency? Come with me, and let me share my resiliency journey with you. Let’s start from when I was a young child. I knew that I had always been different in several ways. At the tender age of 4, I knew that I was born in the wrong body but never had the vocabulary to express it, and with the era I was born in, just talking about the birds and the bees was a sensitive topic.
So imagine talking about the topic of “transgender”… It is still a sensitive topic 40 years later.
Also, during that time, I was getting a new stepdad because my birth mother and father divorced.
I have learned along the way that all of the horrific traumas and the experience of hitting rock bottom happened for a few reasons, which is how I ended up genuinely finding my true self and who I am as a whole. Being resilient, for me, has been the process of overcoming those soul-crushing moments in our lives, getting back up, becoming more evolved, awake, or enlightened (whatever label you want to call it) as a human, and figuring out who you are after these experiences that shattered you one way or another.
My stepdad wasn’t perfect; however, I greatly respected this man. From a young age, I knew he didn’t hate me; instead, I knew that he struggled with his own personal things and that he made an effort to be a better person despite our past issues. I still felt safe with him, and he was someone I always went to first: “Lesbian,” “Pregnant,” and “Transexual,” and he was always supportive when I felt fearful.
I will never forget the day Dad told me “he was proud of me and how I raised my daughter.” Hearing the word “proud” is not a word I hear.
During those rough times,
I ended up moving out at 15 years old with my birth father, where I was held hostage, tied up, and sexually assaulted for several days. He attempted to murder me, and I fled for my own life one winter night through the remote wilderness.
My world was turned upside down for the next 30 years by the actions and choices of others, and what he said to me made me ask “WHY?” to everything in my life.
Ironically, I have learned through College that exploring the question of “why” is frowned upon in the mental health world because clients are usually never ready to explore the truth.
Because this event destroyed my very being, my amazing social worker from Child and Family Services felt I should stay at a youth psychiatric facility in the early 90’s because of the trauma I experienced. I lived there for nine months and stayed with my amazing foster parents, who helped me glue myself back together again.
During this time, I felt safe enough to explore and express my gender more with a good old tensor bandage for binding and a sock for packing. However, back then, transitioning was a 7-year arduous process to do, and I was not psychologically ready, and I knew the world was not prepared to accept me.
I decided to wait to transition and live as a lesbian until society was more accepting. This gave me the opportunity to be one of the first women to be legally married as a lesbian where I lived. I had a daughter who, unlike any other, has grown into an amazing human being, and I am very proud of her.
Let’s jump to 2021, an ex-girlfriend wanted to help me understand myself and bought me a DNA testing kit, and the results were rather interesting!
It turns out this test revealed the answer to all my questions of “Why.” Well, it turns out that the man who tortured me was not my father and my mother has lied again. The instant relief and enlightenment I experienced in those moments were wonderful and freeing!
It was In that moment where I understood those words he said back then, “This is for what your mom did.” I will never know the whole story because all involved have passed away, but what I do know is that had this not happened, I would never have come to learn the truth about who I am, where I am from, and why I have certain beliefs that were never taught to me. It turns out they came from my father’s side of the family, which I have found out is the ways of the Jewish life, which many coincide with my First Nation beliefs.
What I have come to understand during the process of going through school to become a psychotherapist, being a single parent, and transitioning plus a worldwide pandemic at the same time is that resiliency is many things, strength, perseverance, faith, and enlightenment along with so many other wonderful ones!!
Many people struggled during the pandemic, and it destroyed many lives. All of this abuse created by the government is why mental health is at an all-time high across the world.
I, sadly, was one of those whose lives my government destroyed. Over the last 4.5 years, every type of my rights were violated by someone in every Canadian government sector: Nurses, Doctors, WCB, CRA, ICBC, Police, Victim Services, Judges, and Lawyers dropping the ball. These violations caused me to have no identity and no money, improper medical care. I didn’t “exist” to the government, I became homeless, and three of my beloved pets died horrifically, my kids are also now homeless because of the courts despite proof I was innocent and that I was the one being abused.
Consistently Violating PIPPA in hospitals during my transitioning process (Personal Information Protection Act) and deprivation of medications because health professionals dropped the ball for 4.25 years, only to get me on “Special Authority” for the medications I need for the rest of my life. My body no longer produces hormones, and due to uterine cancer, which I unknowingly lived with for 18 years, I need these medications. Without these medications, I can get shingles, which I did end up getting as a result of a lack of medication.
When I step back and look at every facet of my life, I can now see clearly where the problems with our world exist, the changes we need to make to make a healthier world and where I have grown, come to understand so much more, and how I have changed as a human being regardless of labels society uses and how exploring the “WHY?” and the “Now what?” is so important.
As a therapist and soon-to-be podcaster with the show “The Brutal Truth,” launching perspectively in early 2025!!
I hope you will join me when it is launched as I will be diving into some deep introspective explorations, looking at every topic under the sun, mixed with mental health integrated with spirituality, pseudo-psychology, and finding the truths about life and helping you build your resiliency muscles to grow and change and hopefully find your inner peace and make a difference on the world.
Are you ready to share your story of RESILIENCE? You can do that HERE.