Polish the Mirror with Amy Thurman

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:00:00

trigger warning, the Resilience Project provides an open space for people to share their personal experiences. Some content in this podcast may include topics that you may find difficult, the listeners discretion is advised.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:00:19

Hello friends, welcome to radical resilience. A weekly show where I Blair Kaplan Venables have inspirational conversations with people who have survived life's most challenging times. We all have the ability to be resilient and bounce forward from a difficult experience. And these conversations prove just that, get ready to dive into these life changing moments while strengthening your resilience muscle and getting raw and real.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:00:49

Welcome back to another episode of radical resilience. It's me, my voice cracked, Blair Kaplan Venables and I am so excited because we are starting to bring on our co authors for book number two. And this first co author, this first amazing, resilient human is someone very special. And, you know, it's interesting how the universe works because I didn't know her until a couple of weeks ago. And it's all because of the world of social media. So I'm honored to introduce you to Amy Thurman. She went from lying flattened a bed for 23 hours of every day for nearly a year with a broken neck to becoming a successful small business owner. Selling cleaning, budge proof anti aging cosmetics and skincare and is now a story development coach. her tenacity and determination to succeed even with her physical limitations is unmatched. Her mission is to help others people with disabilities included to find that drive within themselves so they too can reach their goals. And when I chatted with her last week, I felt so inspired and you guys out there can't see this but the makeup she's selling I've never heard of this company. And I had her send me the link and it is indeed smudge proof. She's now rubbed her lips on camera to me a few times while wearing the most gorgeous shade of I would say red and it doesn't smudge. So anyways, that's a little plug because I'm excited to go down in a makeup rabbit hole especially because I broke most of my makeup. My trip. Glass bottles do not travel well, the year of let me tell you everyone there. All the floors are marble. But I am so excited to introduce Amy. Hi, Amy.

Unknown: 00:02:32

Hi, Blair. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:02:38

And I am so honored to have you here because your story, or what we're gonna mostly talk about today, your journey is like I can't believe that as someone who has been injured, but never as severely injured as you have been. I can't imagine what you went through. And so we're going to talk about how you passed out and landed on your face which broke your neck. But the injury the broken neck wasn't detected until six months later. Like that's, that's wild. So why don't you walk tell us your story. Walk us through what happened.

Amy Thurman: 00:03:11

Okay, sure. I introduce myself as I'm Amy Thurman, I'm a disabled entrepreneur and story development coach and I live with a broken neck, because that's pretty much how it is. In 2014. I passed out and landed on my face on the hardwood floor. The impact sheared my brainstem caused a traumatic brain injury. And as Blair said it broke my neck but that wasn't detected for six months, I went six months living with a broken neck not knowing that's what was going on. And then it took nine months before I could have surgery to repair it. But there was so much damage done in those nine months that I continue to live with a broken neck. So I can only hold my head up for a few hours at a time I have to rest a lot. I have a whole bunch of other issues that came along with that. Some auto immune issues, dysautonomia or Potts, chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic migraines, I can go on and on but list is endless. But I am choosing not to let that keep me down. I the first year after that accident, I had to lay flat in my bed for 23 hours of every day. I had cerebral spinal fluid leaks. If you have ever had an epidural at while having a baby and had a cerebral spinal fluid leak, it's like your head like there's a train sitting on your head. I had from the the impact of the fall caused this cerebral spinal fluid leak that just wouldn't heal itself. So I couldn't sit up I couldn't hold my head up. I couldn't sit up. And literally I couldn't walk. I couldn't talk I couldn't hear or see correctly. And my family had to do everything for me and including taking me to the restroom where I couldn't even take myself to the restroom. I'm so sorry. It gets emotional. It's an emotional thing for me. It is

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:04:50

it is emotional. Amy like that's hard. It when you can't do the basic things you need to do to take care of yourself because of an injury like I can't him Imagine how humbling that might be. And I mean, you can tell us more about it, you went through it. And

Amy Thurman: 00:05:08

I literally, I was working at a university, a major university in Oklahoma, so many hours working lots and lots of hours. One day, the very next day, I literally could not lift my head up off the bed, I couldn't take myself to the restroom. So it was extremely humbling. I had so much negativity and hatred and anger inside of me. I, I mean, imagine that I lost everything that I felt like made me worthy of living. And Blair, I didn't want to live literally, I pray and pray that I would die because I wasn't living. I was simply existing. And everyone was having to do everything. For me. I was a high achiever, I still am. That's who I am. I'm a high achieving person. I like to accomplish things. Yeah. And not being able to do anything for myself was such a blow to my ego to everything that I just wanted, just didn't want to live. And I knew I had enough medication to make it happen. And I seriously considered it. But I remember this moment of clarity came out of nowhere, I remember thinking, you know, what, what if I don't just resign myself to lay here and die? What if I actually try to get better? And if I get better, what if I can use my experience to help other people. And as a former educator and social worker, I was motivated by that. I was motivated by that. And so in that moment, I began to fight to live with the intention of using my story to help other people. And that's what I do. Now. That's my purpose. I have fought my way back eight years where I had to relearn how to walk, I had to relearn how to drive, I had to relearn pretty much everything. And now I'm using my story to help other people, because that's my mission

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:06:50

is so beautiful. And first of all, thank you so much for sharing that story. I want to go back to the beginning. So the first six months. Were you lying in bed for those first six months? Like how did you finally detect? Well, I guess not you, but how did medical professionals finally detect the broken neck? And like, what did they say it was until they diagnosed you with that?

Amy Thurman: 00:07:15

The you know, people ask me all the time, do you really hold a grudge against your medical team, for making you go through that? And I don't blame it, they were doing the best they knew at the time, they were not trained to look for the injury that I have. The head pain that I was under was so severe. That's what they were focused on. I couldn't even open my eyes. I couldn't I had to wear earplugs at all times, because I couldn't hear any noise made my head hurt. And so they were focused on why is her head hurting so badly? So I don't blame them at all. But I, you know, when you're when you're, when you're disabled and on disability, there's a measure of having to advocate for yourself. I was, you know, I Yes, I wanted them to help my head pain. But I knew it had to be something more. They were not finding answers, because they just didn't know. And so I kept asking people, please try to figure out what's, you know, what's happening? What's happening? Find me a different neurologist. If this one doesn't know, please find me a different one. Where I went through six neurologists. I'm on my sixth one now. But the third one actually said, you know, what, has anyone ever looked at your neck? And I said, No. And he said, Let's do a CT scan of your neck. And I found it. Yes. And so it was advocating for myself through other people. And just going through doc specialists until I found one that actually knew what to look for that for

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:08:49

you. Because I've been, I've been the advocate on behalf of like my mother when she was really sick and dying. My dad, my husband when he was in the hospital with his heart attack, like in the I mean, and we're in Canada, and I know you're in the US. I think like if we can't be our own advocate, someone else has to do it for us. And I think that's what you just said about not holding a grudge. You're right medical professionals are doing the best they can and they're very stretched. And I think you're coming at it with such a beautiful approach for like literally your life was in their hands. And the fact that you knew to advocate because if some you know a medical professional missed something, someone else might catch it and look what you've done you third you know 50 50% Halfway through like on your third you know, neurologists they found it and like I can't even imagine what what was that feeling inside of you knowing that you learned what one of the biggest culprits was like what what walk us through like when you found out

Amy Thurman: 00:09:50

it's difficult for me to explain unless you've experienced something like this before because you go so long, hoping searching for a diagnosis. It's like, Please somebody just figure out what's wrong with me. You know, most of most of the time, people don't want to be diagnosed with something. I was begging and pleading for someone, please find a diagnosis Someone, please find what's wrong with me. And so when I got that CT scan results, I literally was sobbing, like, Finally somebody knows, it's, it was like validation for me that I knew deep in my soul, Blair, I knew something wasn't right, that someone was missing something. And so it was like validation for me that someone validated that I was right, I knew I was listening to my soul. And I, and someone figured it out and was able to help me.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:10:44

And I think what's so beautiful about that is like, you know, where you are, you know, you're lying in bed, and you went from basically being bed, almost 24/7. So like, 23, seven, you know, with the broken neck becoming, I guess, very successful small business owner selling your makeup, but also now being a story development coach. And it seems like what you're doing is kind of giving back in a way because, you know, you were looking for answers, and you found them, and it helped you. And I'm assuming when you're helping people develop their stories, you go back to your story, and how your story unfolded, because I think you shared with me how you shared your story at a conference. And that started to pave the way for your new career.

Amy Thurman: 00:11:30

Yes, I'll just tell you that the company that I'm with is called senegence. It's a clean, anti aging, long lasting smudgeproof cosmetics and skincare line. And as a disabled person laying in the bed not being able to do things for myself, I felt horrible about myself, my self esteem was so low. And I thought it was really when I turned 50, my skin looked 50. And I was not okay with that. I had to do something about it. I have several chronic illnesses. So I have to be careful what I put in my body. But I have to be really careful when I put on my body. I mean, our skin is our largest organ. So I did extensive research to find a company that is clean that doesn't use a bunch of chemicals, they follow European standards that I could use and try to make my skin not look 50 anymore. And I found senegence And they're located the corporate office is two hours from me, which is mind blowing. Yes. Crazy.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:12:29

I go, that's awesome.

Amy Thurman: 00:12:31

So I started doing that. And seven months after I started doing that, one of them heard my story and asked me to share my story in front of 2000 women at the next conference, which is the largest conference they have. So I was able to develop my story, share it with these women. And I cannot tell you how many messages I got telling telling you that I inspired them, I motivated them that they were so so touched by my story. And that changed my life. I was just like, You know what? Yes, my story is dramatic, no doubt. But I believe every, every person has a story worth sharing every person, it's not as dramatic as mine. That's okay. It doesn't have to be it's not a competition. But everybody has a story worth sharing. And I am determined to help people develop their story and get it out there. Because not only is it helpful for you to develop your story, it can change lives, it can change other people's lives simply by sharing your story with other people. And that's what I decided to do in response to this opportunity that I've been given.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:13:37

And your your positivity is so contagious. And I think that's what's so fascinating about you is because you went from, I think your your career in, you know, the universe or so in college, like the high level college that you were at, right? You don't specifically know what your role is there. But in that place, it's a place of inspiration, right? Like universities, schools, colleges, it's a gathering place for people to learn and to grow and to become and it's like you took what you knew from that version of your life. And you took this very, like, you know, long journey, you know, down like, down down the injury path to and the makeup path to get to becoming a story development coach. And it's it's very, like parallel to what you were doing. I think in the university space, we're helping people shape helping shape people. And that's what this is because we do all have a story. And it doesn't mean we all have to come on a podcast or be in the global Resilience Project book like you or me or, you know, be out there publicly. But I think it's important for us to know our story, because, first of all, I don't know if you agree with this, but like we are the walking wounded, like, you know, it's very rare that we go through life with unscathed like something sad and hard might happen. And I think that like younger generations now like Gen Z and the younger kids might Have it a bit easier because we are in a more accepting society. But I know when I was growing up, like you just smiled and pretended it was okay. Like therapy was taboo, like, you know, you didn't really like saw, you didn't really go ahead and fix your problems. You were told to just like you were fine, even though you weren't. And now as an adult, I guess I'm almost 40 I'm fixing a lot. I'm doing deep childhood trauma work. That's, you know, part of my story. And it's me going back, where, you know, not everyone has a story like yours or mine. But everything that we've ever done in our life has led to this very moment. And our story doesn't have to be from a place of trauma or pain or injury, it can be a really beautiful story of fantastic things that have happened. And if we know and understand what our story is, we can tell it.

Amy Thurman: 00:15:49

Yes, yes. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, have to develop it. A lot of people don't even realize they have a story worth sharing. But it's in there. I will tell you what, when I was before the accident, I was working at the university, I was helping schools and communities learn to work more effectively together. I looking back, I did not like the person that I was then I didn't like her. She wasn't a good version of myself. And when I decided to fight to live, I was filled with such negativity inside. And I knew that that had to stop, I could not continue that negativity and get better. So I knew that I not only had to stop it, but I had to replace it with something. So I had someone load up a podcast or an audio book for me. And we'll put the earbuds in and I'm on a very low volume. And I started listening to Tony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, all of those luminaries that have invited the path before us. And I poured that stuff into me. I mean, I was just laying there in the bed. What else did I have to do? So I started pouring that stuff inside. And that's when I came across rooming. I'm sure you're familiar with Rumi, he has a quote that goes like this, which is what I named my business after my business is called polish the mirror. And this is why I called it that ye who seek God apart, that which you Seek thou art. If you wish to seek the beloved space, polish the mirror and gaze into that space that spoke to me on a deep level, and it told me that you don't want every answer we seek is within we have to polish the mirror, we have to look within our soul is waiting to tell us the answer is waiting to help us, we just have to access it, we have to allow it to help us, we have to open up and listen to its message. And we have to be willing to hear it. And so that's what I did. That's how I went from being this person I didn't like to now I'm a completely different person, enjoying helping other people that is my mission. And it's just mind blowing to see the difference. And that I can use something that's so horrific that happened to me, as such a stepping stone as and make a career out of it. I never ever thought that would happen. But that's exactly what's happening. It's so beautiful.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:18:08

And I I think the quote is very profound. And you know, I've only heard it twice, both from you. And I think it's really, really beautiful. And it's true, it is within and so you're coaching people on developing their stories. What are some of listening? And they're like, Amy, like, I don't I don't have a story. What would you say to them?

Amy Thurman: 00:18:30

You do? Probably say you're wrong.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:18:33

How do I know? How do I know if I have a story?

Amy Thurman: 00:18:37

In everyone, the way I do it, I call it your story and stages, and it's based on 100 different emotions. If I asked you how you feel right now, most of the time, you would tell me one of five things we can really only name about five emotions, that there are so many more emotions out there. We don't realize they're there. We don't realize we're experiencing them. So I take you through 100 different emotions and asking you okay, this is what this emotion feels like, and sharing an instance in my life when I have experienced that emotion. Now, go to your life in reference to your your life. Tell me when you have felt that or when you have experienced that before. That becomes part of your story. So it's a stepping stone. It's these emotions I'm taking you through to help develop your story because it's in there. It's in there. You just have to get to access it. Wow, that's fascinating. I've

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:19:31

never heard of that technique. I'm curious about what my other 95 emotions are. Like what? Emotions maybe my story is actually like an eight part novel series. You might

Unknown: 00:19:46

absolutely it sure could. Me but yeah, sorry. I actually created a chart. It's called the emotion. Emotion. Spread. I can't think of it right now.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:19:58

She has a chart. I have It's okay, you have an emotion chart.

Amy Thurman: 00:20:02

Okay? It's an emotion frequency chart. It's actually a freebie on my website. But it's I had developed, it's in stages, it's in 10 stages, because all emotions have a vibration, they have a frequency. If we're in the lower emotions, we're not functioning well, it doesn't feel well, we don't, we aren't happy, we're complaining a lot. We're grumbling, we're cranky. But if we move up, if we move up the frequency chart, it gets to those higher level emotions, where we actually feel better, we want to see things we're looking from a different perspective. And so what I do is help people go from step one or stage one, the lower level emotions to work their way up through all the way to stage 10. To the higher level emotions were which is a really, really good place to be. That's where you want to be. And so that chart is on my website.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:20:50

And you know what, this is a great place for us to share besides in the shownotes, which you can go to if you're not driving, or like using both your hands, but why don't you Amy, let everyone know where people can find you. So they can get this freebie and they can follow you on social and they can just like fall in love with you like I have.

Amy Thurman: 00:21:08

Thank you Blair. I am on most of the socials, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Amy Thurman on Facebook, I'm the one with V Walker, I have a walking device that I have to use when I walk if I walk very far because I put my stand up too fast I pass out sometimes anyway, a whole other story there. But Amy Thurman on all the socials My website is get Amy's help.com GE T Amy S H E L p.com. And that freebie is at get Amy's help.com/free. I like to I like to meet one on one with people I'm not, I don't like to throw people into a program, I don't do a cookie cutter thing. Because everybody's story, everybody's experience is different. So I start with a call where I chat with you to see if we're a good fit, I want to help you. But you know what, we may not be a good fit. So I like to sit with you first chat what it is you're you're expecting what you want to work through and see if it's something that we would be a good fit for. So I also have get Amy's calendar.com, to book a call with me to get started. If even if it's with the skincare or the makeup or your story. Any of that I sit with people I asked them questions on every level through that calendar link.

Blair Kaplan Venables: 00:22:30

Yeah, and I love that. And that's actually like Amy and I, she reached out to me on LinkedIn, I saw her profile and thought she was fascinating. And just so you know, a lot of people reach out to me a lot. But there was just something about her. And so we had a little chit chat while I was in Europe, and we booked a call just so we can get to know one another. And here she is. And there was no other intention than that. And you know, she is a really cool person. And I'm so honored that you're going to share your story even further in our second book and that you're a guest on this podcast. And we're probably going to have you speak at future events because we do monthly free events in the next few dates are coming out. hopefully very soon. We're just waiting on my team, which is me. We're Wait, I am waiting on me to do it. And but before we wrap up, I want to know Amy, like I guess there's a lot of things we talked about like injuring yourself and having like a meta an injury that you had to advocate for or being injured, where you're in bed 23 hours a day. I'm gonna let you choose what you want to give advice on But what advice do you have for someone going through anything similar to what you've gone through?