Untamed Vulnerability


I was going to start off this post with a definition of the word “vulnerable” but was disappointed with my Googling results. In my mind, I thought I knew what it meant but when it came time to put fingers to the keyboard, my mind was blank.

Some of the definitions I found were:

  • susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.
  • (a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.

Upon sharing my story, I’ve been thanked for my vulnerability, so, naturally, I can’t help but feel vulnerable. However, I don’t feel like I’m susceptible to be attached or in need of special care

The Only Definition of Vulnerable that you Need to Know

It wasn’t until I stumbled upon the Urban Dictionary’s definition that I was in agreeance. I think the following definition is BANG ON:

“Someone who is completely and rawly open, unguarded with their heart, mind, and soul. Being vulnerable happens when you trust completely. Rather its vulnerability by pain or joy, it’s being exposed with all of the emotions that make it easy for someone (someone you trust) to really do some emotional damage or healing. Vulnerability is the surrender of all control and personal power in regards to letting someone close enough to destroy you!”

That’s me. I’m rawly open and unguarded with my heart, mind and soul.

I’ve just got back from a trip to my hometown, Winnipeg, M.B., where I was the keynote at the Jewish Child and Family Services AGM. My talk was about my dad’s addiction, my feelings, my experiences, forgiveness and resilience. Sharing my story face to face with people who know me, know my family, grew up with me along with complete strangers was special.

I was raw. I was open. I was honest.

What was once considered a secret is a real story that happened to real people.

Blair and Blair at JCFS AGM in Winnipeg, M.B.

Skeletons in Your Closet

The thing about keeping skeletons in your closet is that you forget that amongst those bones there may be flesh and organs. Sometimes, those skeletons are real people with real issues and not all secrets should be kept.

As I learn more about addiction, I understand why things happened in my life the way they did. My father struggles with addiction and faces various health challenges. The more I know, the more I understand and can help with his recovery.

The most important lesson that I’ve learned is that my dad is sick and NOT a bad person. This shift in thinking has changed my life and allowed me to forgive and love.

Letting my vulnerability run wild and free has been liberating for my soul. I’ve decided that for the rest of my life I’m going to be vulnerable, the Urban Dictionary way. Who’s with me?

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