This is Debbiesue and she is RESILIENT.
CONTENT WARNING: The I Am Resilient Project provides an open space for people to share their personal experiences. Some content in this post and on this website will include topics that you may find difficult.
Describe the situation where you had to be resilient:
I had to grow from child victim to adult survivor.
Debbiesue’s Story
I was 5 when the confusing touch started. I wasn’t supposed to like it, but I did.
“Close your eyes. Let’s play a game. It’s our secret.” That’s when the shame started. It was like wearing a target. The males in my home, creepers on the internet, teachers and religious leaders and “friends” were invited over to fondle me while watching porn. Eventually, the rape resulted in a miscarriage while hiding in a closet at school. I continued to be an easy target of sexual assault through college.
I believe we’re only as sick as our secrets. Shame became a secret life of numbing. Alcohol, smoking, self-harm and disordered eating. The subconscious sense of control. The slow disappearance. Keep in mind that even at my worst, I was told FREQUENTLY how good THIN looked on me. Such words are fuel and poison for someone battling an eating disorder.
I spiraled until unprocessed grief and anger triggered life-threatening chronic pains, illness, and mental suffering. My first breakdown led me into counseling in 2006.
My creative lifeline was meaningful movement + performing arts + soulful songwriting. I’m so grateful for these recovery tools for nearly 15 years (talk therapy, CBT, holistic medicine, body reconciliation/restorative movement classes, CPTSD therapeutic retreats, recovery-based groups, EMDR and EFT, and art therapy)!
Everyday people carry these secrets and need to feel less crazy and alone. There’s hope. That’s why I share the real story. Because we can’t begin to break stigmas around mental illness until we understand what people carry. People who seem normal as can be on Instagram.
How did you practice resilience when faced with this challenge?
I built resilience through meaningful movement, performing arts, soulful songwriting, talk therapy, holistic medicine, body reconciliation/restorative movement, CPTSD therapeutic retreats, recovery-based groups, EMDR/EFT and art therapy!
Please share one piece of advice for people who are going through a similar challenge
Don’t ever stop believing that you deserve love, safety, belonging and wholeness without changing one thing about you.
Are you ready to share your story of RESILIENCE? You can do that HERE.
