This is Dan Burton and he is RESILIENT.
CONTENT WARNING: The I Am Resilient Project provides an open space for people to share their personal experiences. Some content in this post and on this website will include topics that you may find difficult
Describe the situation where you had to be resilient:
Realizing that my worth was more than just my body.
Dan’s Story:
Body Dysmorphia is a mental health condition where a person spends a significant amount of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. Oftentimes these flaws are unnoticeable to others.
Growing up, Arnold Schwarzenegger was my idol. From that early childhood hero I believed the ideal male body type had to include big shoulders, arms, and 6-pack abs.
For me, my entire body was flawed. I believed I was small, lacked muscle development, had too much fat, you name it. I picked my body apart. My body was never enough. I was never enough. Kids from school reinforced this belief as I was teased for being a little heavier. I dreaded taking my shirt off or changing for gym class. That is when I got teased the most. When I was naked and even more vulnerable.
I started with push-ups. When I was old enough I started working out at the local YMCA. Starting with the circuit machines, doing endless amounts of cardio and really anything to try and lose weight and gain muscle. I was a fish out of water and I had no idea what I was doing. Eventually, I moved into the weight room and I got a little better with form and technique with the help of a personal trainer, but still hadn’t really figured it out.
At 16 years old, I was assaulted at a party. The gentlemen who decided to beat me up that night broke my jaw. Subsequently, my jaw was wired shut for 6 weeks. Everything I consumed had to be through a straw, including my Christmas dinner. Over the next 6 weeks, I lost 25 pounds. Now I had other problems: 1) A fear of someone trying to hurt me again. 2) I was suddenly getting attention from girls, and some of the teasing at school stopped.
This only fuelled my fire.
I spent another few years training but not really making any progress. It wasn’t until I met one of my good friends where he showed me diet was everything. To grow you had to eat; a lot. So I did, and over the matter of a few months I gained a significant amount of muscle mass and fat. As I entered University I became very aware of how to manipulate my diet and macros to lose fat and gain muscle. The cycle started. I would gain as much as I could over 3-4 months then I would try to cut the fat over the next 3-4 months. Up and down. Never satisfied. Constantly critiquing, spending hours in the gym seeking my elusive physique that would never come.
I thought I was ‘healthy.’ How could I not be? I was working out all the time and eating healthy food. What more could I want? On the outside, I might have looked healthy but on the inside in my mind was a different story.
To this day it is still something I deal with. Will I ever be cured of Body Dysmorphia? No. It will always be there. However, as I grow and learn to love myself more the voices that told me I needed to have a physique like Arnie will become quieter. There will be days where life happens and the voices will try to consume me again, but those days will continue to become fewer and farther between.
How did you practice resilience when faced with this challenge?
It took time to realize that my flaws are a part of what makes me who I am. I learned to love myself – that I am worthy and my worth is more than just my body. When I did, I was finally able to overcome my Body Dysmorphia.
Please share one piece of advice for people who are going through a similar challenge
You will conquer it, but you will never be ‘cured.’ It is one of our flaws to love and not let it define us. Always remembering we are ENOUGH!
Are you ready to share your story of RESILIENCE? You can do that HERE.
